Radical

Accepting it either way, My fate in your hands at the end of the day. In a different time and place I’d take you outback, say let’s play. Slowly dropping to your knees, Begging me please. Hide the letters from my wife, Cause me no strife. I may take your life tonight, I wish I…

Mitera

It’s been almost six months since my mother and I last spoke. The more time that passes the more I am able to heal. My heart becoming more open to love rather than hate and resentment. The day we fought wasn’t the worst fight we’d been in, I had just decided this would be the…

The Ocean Floor

Beneath the ocean floor of the deep blue sea 🌊, You come to me. In my dreams at night we take flight. Out of the darkness into the light. Sharing an undeniable bond, never meeting, only from beyond. Seven years my senior; Sports and music fed your soul… The drugs took their toll. Left now…

Discovering

Part of healing is figuring out what hobbies you enjoy vs what you may have been doing your entire life due to background subconscious noise from your family. In order to figure out what’s yours and what’s theirs…it involves completely separating yourself from the intertwining layers. It’s not just the hobbies. It’s religion, spirituality, politics,…

The Struggle

I’ve voiced in the past about my chronic pain. I’ve been suffering with it now for almost two years. In the beginning I went to my family Dr. and asked to be tested for autoimmune disorders. She laughed, called in the panel and also called me in an antacid. In the beginning of the process…

Separating Mental Health and Self Help.

Reading self help books has always been a struggle. Constantly comparing. Feeling I should have the power to disconnect myself in any situation, to be one in the moment, understand the anxiety and panic will not over take and just breath. A monk can light themselves on fire and disconnect form it. I’m clearly doing…

Back Down to Earth

I look around me and all I see,  The desire to be free. without a degree of worth.  Your dreams are key. It is time for your rebirth. Without a degree of worth, There is always a fee. Coming back down to earth. Let me be.  To go unseen,  Wash me clean.  Coming back down…

Just Like Her

The reflection so deep, These lies you reap. The same games have all been played before, Isn’t that part of the lore? Continuing to play the victim to even the score. I can’t take anymore. Thinking I had an ally, You’re just keeping a tally. Oh mercy me can’t you see? Intertwined, so lost in…

Shame

Hiding in shame as the demon over takes. My hands begin to shake, The earth below begins to quake. Turn the light down slowly, My skin feels unholy. Nothing I’ve done, It’s myself I shun. Hiding in shame Below all this pain. Nothing but the world to gain. Hold up your head, Your souls been…

Climb

Dreaming of you again, it’s too early to feel like I’m ten. These emotions playcate what dominates. Pop another pill, climb that hill. Fake it till you make it, None of these pieces fit. Can’t you see I could never be me? Why did you walk away? What price did I have to pay? I…